Happy First Day of School!
(a day late)
(a day late)
Had to try for one without the scholar glasses despise so much. Of course, then the eyes ended up closed. Can't win. :)
What a day yesterday was!
What. . .a. . . day.
It
started out lovely. Up at 4:30. Beautiful quiet time, reflecting and
revisiting life and spiritual goals, as this 38th year of my life begins.
Gluten Free Banana muffins started and even though I tweaked the recipe to be less refined sugar, with more honey and coconut sugar instead, they turned out fluffy and perfect.
Gluten Free Banana muffins started and even though I tweaked the recipe to be less refined sugar, with more honey and coconut sugar instead, they turned out fluffy and perfect.
Bubbles woke up and snuggled and cuddled for a full 1/2 hour as we
watched chipmunks feed at the seeds Miraclegirl leaves for them outside our window. Morning was still perfect.
Miraclegirl slept in since she's sick. Got up. Asked for TWO muffins (they passed the Miraclegirl test!) even though she feels lousy and they're "healthy".
Still perfect.
Then, it fell apart.
Sink filling for dishes, I remembered something I needed to print for 1st day. Got so caught up trying to find it, didn't realize the sink was overflowing til the sound registered. Ran out. Bubbles of course, is happily playing in the flooded kitchen.
I begin mopping up, thinking of how this adds an extra load of laundry on this rainy-can't-dry-clothes-ve
Bubbles then falls.
Nose begins bleeding profusely. My shirt gets decorated with it as I frantically ask Miraclegirl to bring tissues.
(Mind you, Miraclegirl fell last night and had a nose bleed from that. What is it, with nose bleeds in this house!?)
Get the bleeding stopped and Bubbles changed out of his soaked, bloody clothes.
Go to get more dish towels and see the water somehow filled up the stack of drawers to the right of my sink---silverware, boxes of tin foil/plastic wrap---all soaked and in a good inch of water.
And in that water, mouse poop is floating that I had no clue was even in those drawers!
*GAG*
Leave drawers as is.
Finish dishes so sink is empty for the drawer-bleaching while yelling at Bubbles to "Leave the drawers and water alone! Yucky!!!" Begin the mopping-up water process and bleaching everything contaminated by mice droppings including every last piece of silverware and sippy cup parts.
Go to put mop away. Slip on wet floor. Reach out to save myself. Doesn't work. Shoulder is wrenched so badly with a tearing feel, that I think I might faint, as, at the same time, I slam one of my advanced-arthritic-knees on the floor with the other side of my body.
A fall on your 37th birthday certainly carries more physical ramifications than a fall on your 7th, or 17th, or even your 27th birthday would have. . . ! I told my Grandmother later, that after I assessed the damage, and as I was still down, one main thought crossed my mind. "That. hurt. The old Gal ain't what she used to be!"
Our first day of school did not start at 9. It started at 10:15. I still rocked my high heels despite the knee pain, it went smoothly and even was fun, and Miraclegirl was bummed when we were done for the day which I took as a great sign.
So then I thought that perhaps the rest of the day could be spent sewing on the new machine my husband's family chipped in and bought me for my birthday, while waiting for the new extravagant gift Handsome gave, to arrive by UPS---an upgraded camera!
Miraclegirl slept in since she's sick. Got up. Asked for TWO muffins (they passed the Miraclegirl test!) even though she feels lousy and they're "healthy".
Still perfect.
Then, it fell apart.
Sink filling for dishes, I remembered something I needed to print for 1st day. Got so caught up trying to find it, didn't realize the sink was overflowing til the sound registered. Ran out. Bubbles of course, is happily playing in the flooded kitchen.
I begin mopping up, thinking of how this adds an extra load of laundry on this rainy-can't-dry-clothes-ve
Bubbles then falls.
Nose begins bleeding profusely. My shirt gets decorated with it as I frantically ask Miraclegirl to bring tissues.
(Mind you, Miraclegirl fell last night and had a nose bleed from that. What is it, with nose bleeds in this house!?)
Get the bleeding stopped and Bubbles changed out of his soaked, bloody clothes.
Go to get more dish towels and see the water somehow filled up the stack of drawers to the right of my sink---silverware, boxes of tin foil/plastic wrap---all soaked and in a good inch of water.
And in that water, mouse poop is floating that I had no clue was even in those drawers!
*GAG*
Leave drawers as is.
Finish dishes so sink is empty for the drawer-bleaching while yelling at Bubbles to "Leave the drawers and water alone! Yucky!!!" Begin the mopping-up water process and bleaching everything contaminated by mice droppings including every last piece of silverware and sippy cup parts.
Go to put mop away. Slip on wet floor. Reach out to save myself. Doesn't work. Shoulder is wrenched so badly with a tearing feel, that I think I might faint, as, at the same time, I slam one of my advanced-arthritic-knees on the floor with the other side of my body.
A fall on your 37th birthday certainly carries more physical ramifications than a fall on your 7th, or 17th, or even your 27th birthday would have. . . ! I told my Grandmother later, that after I assessed the damage, and as I was still down, one main thought crossed my mind. "That. hurt. The old Gal ain't what she used to be!"
Our first day of school did not start at 9. It started at 10:15. I still rocked my high heels despite the knee pain, it went smoothly and even was fun, and Miraclegirl was bummed when we were done for the day which I took as a great sign.
So then I thought that perhaps the rest of the day could be spent sewing on the new machine my husband's family chipped in and bought me for my birthday, while waiting for the new extravagant gift Handsome gave, to arrive by UPS---an upgraded camera!
A return to the reality of my kitchen jolted me out of that daydream, and instead, laundry, dishes, and other odds and ends took over.
It was while doing dishes that the UPS man walked right into our house and stood in the doorway of the second half, going, "Hey!" I guess the renovations of the sanctuary and the supplies outside, indicate we're a walk-in facility instead of an actual home. :/
This time I did not go through my usual, "We aren't hoarders and we don't normally live like this" spiel. I was too tired. I just let him form his own conclusions about what was going on in this building.
Camera time!
When I bought my older, used, DSLR two years ago, I think Handsome thought perhaps it would be a phase I would pass through and lose interest in. Instead, I have only grown to love photography more, soaking up whatever I can, whenever I can (which is usually only 15 minutes here and there.) Bcause mine is an older version with slower shooting and lower ISO capability, and because I've been gifting people who can't afford a professional, with photo shoots, He decided he wanted to do this for me.
The gift made me feel guilty and ecstatic all at the same time.
Guilt because a gift like that is more than I'm used to receiving in life, more than I feel I personally deserve, and for the money spent when there are so many needs in other people's lives and even in preparing for Shiloh's future.
Ecstatic that shooting photos would be easier and better quality in the future, not only for capturing our life as a family but for those I love.
Ecstatic that shooting photos would be easier and better quality in the future, not only for capturing our life as a family but for those I love.
I excitedly set it up and began shooting.
Or trying to anyways.
What devastation to realize, this particular camera is not compatible with my currently owned lenses.
I sat there in shock. I had researched and researched within the budget I had and was firm in my final decision---and the entire time I never once considered a lens compatibility issue.
I cried.
Like a little kid.
Then I agonized over telling Handsome, because he had been sooo very excited to buy this for me.
More research and the end conclusion---I either need to upgrade my lenses to use the camera (which is a whole 'nother chunk of change) or I need to buy a higher end model that uses several types of lenses, which is out of our budget.
Out I dug the packaging things from the garbage and the re-packing process began.
Through it all, I poured my heart out to my Daddy God.
Tears finally over, I decided there are two actions to take.
1. Matter-of-factly pack it up, return it and let it go. It's a bitter disappointment but I can't ruminate on it. It is what it is.
2. When the disappointment hits again, pour it out to God, for He is my Daddy and He gets me--even something as "silly" as a new camera. He gets my heart that longs to capture beauty for Shiloh and for those I love.
This Daddy God of mine, who gets that, I will cry out to, and I will ask for Him to hone my skill and help me capture the beauty in photo as my heart and eyes see it, with the older camera I have, with it's more minimal abilities.
He has sweetly met me in my disappointment. Not with promises of something bigger and better but instead with Himself.
It has so gently touched me that He knows my heart. This 37 year old heart that had a child-like disappointment and cry over a gift that cannot be. A few years ago, this knowledge would not have soothed the disappointment. Only a tangible solution would have soothed it. But here I am, just a bit deeper into my relationship with Him than I was even a year ago and I realize my comfort lies in knowing He gets it.
He is finally enough for my heart.
Not money, not new things, not gifts, not security, not things going my way.
Him.
He is my everything.
He is the gift of my heart.
