I haven’t read an
Eldredge book that I haven’t loved and Love and War has been no exception.
This is not your
typical marriage book. Typical in that the reader will find “five steps towards
a magical marriage” or “a ten week plan to spark romance back into the
bedroom.” Instead, like all Eldredege books, John and Stasi inspire the reader
with their words rather than with steps and techniques to employ. Some
self-help readers may not like this approach. I, however, do. Writing like this
stirs my soul and remains in my heart and mind long after the book is closed.
It all begins in
the introduction:
“Things are not what they seem and so, if we would understand our lives, and especially our marriages, we must listen again to the Gospel. . . There are larger events unfolding around us, events of enormous consequence. . . a boy and a girl thrown together in some desperate journey. If we believed it, if we actually saw what was taking place right here, right now, we would cross ourselves. We would say desperate prayers. Earnest prayers.
The Eldredges
then go on to challenge us with the question, what if marriage was more than marriage? What if
all eternity was affected by it? What if our marriage plays a vital
role in the Sacred Romance and has eternal significance? What if there is
more?
With those
questions echoing and reverberating, they then start off running with a concept I’ve
never read in any other marriage book; Return to the desires you took into
your marriage.
“We might find a way to manage our disappointment and we might do our best to fight off resignation, but it works its way in. We let go of what we wanted, what we dreamed of, what we were created for. We begin to settle.Because marriage is hard, sometimes painfully hard, your first Great Battle is to not lose heart. That begins with recovering desire—the desire for the love that is written on your heart. Let desire return. Let it remind you of all that you wanted, all that you were created for.’
We’re in the
middle of a war story, John and Stasi tell us. Our love story is a part of a
war story. And so, we have to make it work. Because there is more than just our
marriage at stake. Our marriage is
a symbol of God’s love for mankind. Our standing together affects the enemy
raging against us. Our commitment to our love story ripples into the Great Love
story of all time.
Less this sound
like all novel type writing it’s not. John and Stacey do tackle pertinent topics
like the differences between men and women and how it plays into marriage
struggles. They also cover the necessity of romance and how to have a really
good fight. They remind us of the importance to share life’s adventure and to
fight back-to-back as partners against the darkness surrounding us rather than
against each other. And they cover sex. With candor and continuing on with their readable, smile-inducing style.
“You need to do it. Often. In a way you both enjoy. Immensely.If this isn’t the case, then you need to deal with why it isn’t.‘Cause you need to do it. Often. In a way you both enjoy. Immensely.”
Love and War gets
a 5 out of 5 rating from me. It is so much more than a logical step-by-step
marriage book. It is a narrative that speaks to the hidden corners of the
heart, stirs them with longing, and follows through with hope. In the words of
the authors concerning marriage:
It can be done.
And it is worth
it.
Disclaimer: "I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review"
