23 Days Without Internet

During our recent move, we had a horrible time getting our internet hooked up here at Shiloh. What had me pulling my hair out the first week turned into a beautiful time by the end.

    

Day 1: I feel lost. 

Really, really lost. 

From checking email and Facebook multiple times a day to nothing.  Life feels wrong. Out of kilter. What’s happening on Facebook that I’m missing? And what’s up with missing Words with Friends like I miss caffeine physically when trying to detox it? I truly think I may go a bit psychotic from lack of internet.  Surely this is as physical a withdrawal as a drug withdrawel is.

Day 2:  If I thought yesterday was bad, today is even worse. I’m sure that all sorts of exciting things have taken place in the internet world and I’m missing out. I’m the odd kid out. I’m out of the loop. Not in the know. Sheer torture. 

And my email. . . just the thought sends chills down my back. My inbox is going to be beyond maxed.

Bedtime is horrible. My brain is used to Words with Friends and mindlessly surfing the web. Not reading an educational book. I want to turn my mind off, not keep it going. UGH!

Day 3: It’s official. I’m psychotic. I. need. Facebook. NOW! Life is just boring beyond all get out without Facebook games, seeing what everyone is up to, and reading blogs. Blech! This no internet thing stinks. Not a fan!

Day 4: Am I alive? I think I am.

Wow. Three days without internet and I’m still breathing.

Got to check email today and Facebook. Surprise! I really didn’t miss all that much over the past 3 days. I did but it was quickly caught up on and it wasn’t earth shattering. Kinda’ disappointing actually. I was sure that I had missed an earth-altering event the past three days.

Supper is now over. I really want to play Words with Friends. .  . oh, what’s this? I have a Logic Puzzle book. Hmmm. . . I’ll just do a few puzzles. 

1 ½ hours later. . . that was pretty fun to work on! Really challenged me.

Day 5:  I got some counseling studying done, as well as some writing done this morning. I wasn’t purusing Facebook or email. I had time. Plus I played with the kids extensively and read to them til I was hoarse. Miraclegirl and I had our best school morning ever because I wasn’t in a rush to get it done so I could check email.

I think there is something very beneficial to this no internet thing.

I can’t wait for later tonight. . . friends are coming for a work night here at Shiloh and I’m loving the friendship that is developing as a result! It’s much richer than Facebook status-chats. I feel I’m really getting to know this Sister’s heart. We’ve talked about everything from homeschooling to what God is teaching us.

After they leave. . . . I can’t wait to get back to the Logic Puzzle book. I think I figured out one of the

words that had me stumped last night.

Day 6: Miraclegirl and I worked on a jigsaw puzzle together. A round globe one that I haven’t been able to finish before. We completed it before bed.

Then, once her and Bubbles were asleep, I headed for my rocking chair by the pellet stove. Before grabbing the Logic Puzzle book I grabbed the counseling book I read earlier that morning. The lights were dimmed, kids were sleeping and instead of straining my eyes over the computer screen I was reading and stretching my brain. It was all very cozy there by the pellet stove instead of the computer desk. 

I found myself very happy.

Day 7: I cannot believe how much time I have! Ok, not with Bubbles teething, but without internet that is. School isn’t as rushed for Miraclegirl and I because I could care less if I’m missing out on the latest Facebook feed. And the past few days have found me writing for myself during quiet time in the afternoon, not a blog audience.

I do miss blogging and the feedback from it, but I also like recording my own thoughts that may never be read by anyone. There is a richness to that. 


Can’t wait til tonight to settle in the rocking chair with my fiction book and puzzle book.

Day 8: Checked email and Facebook. Missed some important things I had to respond to but again, nothing earth shattering. 


What do you know? The internet world is moving on without me.

Day 9: Ok, I do miss blogging. It is my ministry and I miss that outlet of writing the fire in my heart. But I’m not psychotic about it anymore. Instead, it’s more like a piece of me is missing. As if what I’ve been called to do has been shelved for awhile.

   
I’ve created a new internet schedule for myself. I hope I can abide by it. My time is so full and rich without all the mindless internet checking I’m used to doing all day long. I can easily check only twice a day, morning and night, and probably not miss anything important. Not exactly sure why I was obsessed with constant checking before all this.  

    
It’s odd too. I’m still busy. I’m teaching myself photo editing and painting the house and writing for myself, but my kids don’t seem to care. They care when I was on the internet but this other busy stuff doesn’t seem to phase them at all. Something to do with my back to them when I’m on the computer I guess. . .

Day 10: Internet guidelines are officially written down. Each day that passes without internet is another day I believe I can follow these guidelines once it’s back.  Instead of just a quick Little House on the Prairie chapter to Miraclegirl so I could quickly get her tucked in and to play Words with Friends, I read 5 chapters to her tonight as we cuddled. Five chapters. To my 4 year old. Who cuddled the whole time. And I’ve missed this because of Words with Friends!


I must say I quite enjoy my evenings with books in hand more than the nights I mindlessly surfed Facebook until I could barely keep my eyes open. It mellows me out more to read a book than to be on the computer.

Day 11: Wrote up some blog posts in Word for when internet is back but I do believe, I might have time to start sewing in between everything else I have going on. I am finding that I have that much more time without the constant checking of internet all day long.

I am quite embarrassed actually, with how much time I am discovering. Embarrassed because so much time was spent on the stupid computer. Such a shame. A horrible shame. I’m angry with myself.

I need the net back for bill paying and free lance writing work but I no longer need it for amusement or entertainment. I am actually quite happy without the constant Facebook and email checks now.

What was making me psychotic 11 days ago has me peaced out today.

Day 12: Friends came to visit last night. Face-to-face time. Our kids played. The men worked on our hot water heater. We women chatted. When they left, the kid’s conked out as I began By the Shores of Silver Lake and then, I was too tired to read more than one chapter in my own book. The whole evening beat Facebook games without personal faces any day!

Day 13: I’m feeling no internet as far as blogging goes. Got a chance to check my blog. . . my ratings are dropping quick from 2 weeks of inactivity. Made me sad to lose my rank. . .  But then I remember, “It’s a ministry. And ultimately, it’s God’s and God’s ministry. . .. so it’s all good.” Still, I do miss putting the fire in my heart on screen and hearing feedback on how other women relate to what I wrote and it inspired them to keep on keeping on. I miss doing part of what I am created to do, which is minister through writing.

On the flip side, a long-distance friend called. My cell reception wasn’t the greatest but we talked on the phone. It was refreshing. She called because we’re not in touch via a blog or Facebook right now. It’s a friendship that has come about because of my blog, but this took it a step further and added a richer dimension, just to hear her voice. Made me think that I should make phone calls more often instead of relying on text, emails, and Facebook statuses to keep up my friendships.

Day 14: Really pondering this in-life friendship thing. I have a tendency to hide behind media forms of communication. I hate the phone, have social anxiety, and fear rejection. Those issues aren’t as huge when relying on the written word. . . when the computer screen allows you to run away by just shutting the computer off or you can block numbers on your cell phone. At the same time, it also misses a dimension this face to face time and phone call time I’ve been getting has. I don’t want to miss this when internet is back. 

Spent time self-teaching myself more photo editing on GIMP. It’s long been a passion of mine to learn it. Now, instead of evenings spent on Facebook I’m studying this and learning it and loving every minute!

Day 15:  We’re having internet issues. Our provider can’t seem to get us hooked back up. No one else services out here. Honestly, if it wasn’t for bills and work, I think I could go without it. Go back to phone and writing letters by hand.

Day 16: I’ve thought it through a bit more. I could do without internet but at the same time, Facebook and my Xanga group has given me a one-stop place for catching up with dear friends when life prevents me from writing letters and making calls. My conclusion is it’s not such a horrible thing to have the internet, because it does keep me in touch with friends I had lost contact with. 

I guess it’s all about balance. Using it as a supplemental tool to round out relationships  but not as the main line for relationships. . . or using it for mindless brain activity that wastes my time.

Day 17: Still thinking about the internet and whether I could go without it. I could. But I would miss the blog ministry I have as well as the Facebook and blog connections. I’d miss it but I’m no longer in a “I’m going to go crazy-psychotic if I don’t have the internet this second” stage. I’ve officially detoxed and believe I can return to it for what it is. A ministry platform. A dimension to keep up long distance friendships. Paying bills. Staying informed. Earning income. 


Internet had become everything to me. It’s not everything. It’s simply a tool. A tool to be used at the right times in the right way.

Day 18: Miracle and I bought a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle at Walmart. She quickly grew bored with it but enjoys sitting in the rocking chair looking at her books as I work on it after Bubbles is asleep. Even Handsome joined in for a bit. So now, I not only have reading and puzzle books to do at night, now I have this puzzle.

Day 19: My mother-in-law was here. Come to find out, she’s as much of a jig-saw puzzle lover as I am! We love each other but don’t have all that much we do together. . . but now we do. No internet led to buying a puzzle which led to an activity to do with my MIL. Who knew!?

Day 20: We’re still waiting on the internet situation to resolve. I really don’t miss it that much. I miss the daily interaction with friends but I no longer miss the constant being on there. I like this “new life” I have. Photo editing, reading, jig-saw puzzle, radio shows. . .

Day 21: I dug out a 6 year old cross-stitch. Adding that to my evening repoitoire of things to do. Did a town run to check email and pay a few bills. Never even checked Facebook. How far I’ve come.

 Sat down and asked God how my blog should be used. He’s taking it in a new direction. A more purposeful ministry direction. I’m excited. No more self-promoting it. I’m simply going to write what is on my heart and if reader’ come and reviews are offered, great. If not, well, I’m not spending any more time seeking either.For the first time I can say He’s in full control of my blog and I’m not going to spend countless hours trying to figure out how to grow it. 

 Can’t wait to share some of what He’s laid on my heart to share with my Readers! The fire is burning bright in my heart.

Day 22: Doing some writing this afternoon. Without checking Facebook and email every 5 minutes. It’s amazing how much writing I actually get done without those distractions. I might actually be able to finish one of my 4 manuscripts at this rate!

Our internet provider is supposed to try again today and see if they can hook us up. What made me super excited 2 weeks ago to get back, I’m non-committal about today. Can’t wait to return to the blog ministry after what God gave me yesterday and am curious as to what everyone is up to on Facebook but if it doesn’t work today, well, not a big deal. It’ll get hooked up when it gets hooked up. God knows I need to work. He knows what He’s laid on my heart for blog readers. He’ll make it work out in the right time.

Day 23: Internet came back. I caught up on emails and Facebook and blogs.


 Bedtime came. I sat down to do some word games on FB, which I enjoyed, but then, as I went to my feed, I quickly became bored. I shut down the computer and went to my rocking chair and worked on my logic puzzle book and then dug out George Mueller's biography. 

Two weeks post-internet hookup:
My evenings still consist of books, puzzles, logic puzzles, reading out loud with the kids, etc. Facebook and internet surfing bores me. Words with Friends doesn't hold as much attraction to me as it once did. My computer time is limited and my life is full of non-computer related activities which I am thriving on.


It has been nice to return to blogging and getting quick updates with friends via FB and blogs and Lord willing, I'll be freelancing by this time next week but now, the internet is a periphery tool in my life instead of my mainstay.

23 days without internet = one of the best things that could have ever happened.