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Tell us the Story of How The Question Was Popped
Ok, not really. But waiting until 2 weeks before our wedding to officially propose was a risky venture on his end.
I did go along with the wedding plans but I often reminded him there was no ring and I was worth an official proposal and I was wondering if I was doing the right thing by getting married to a guy that couldn't give me either.
Lucky for him, his charm outshone the lack of ring.
We met in July. We really didn't like each other.
I was 28 and a career woman. He was 30-something and convinced, based on some painful life experiences, that all women were evil.
After our mutual mentor thought we needed to meet each other, we went out to clarify we would just remain friends, had no interest in dating, blah, blah, blah.
He pushed my buttons. I got annoyed.
He thought . . . well, I won't tell you what he thought of me. That's his story.
Never-the-less, despite our insistence we would not date, had no desire to date, and thought the other was exceptionally annoying, we kept spending time together.
Again. And again. And again.
But we weren't dating. We were just friends.
I'm still confused as to how it happened. We were just hanging out. Then, around December, we were making wedding plans. Five months after meeting and we were planning the rest of our lives together.
They say you just know.
It's true.
It went against all I held to, both for myself personally and as a professional counselor. No ring. No proposal. No waiting a full year to "see what he was like through all the seasons". It wasn't how I dreamed it would be and it certainly wasn't' how I counseled women who settled for less than they were worth.
I knew. But I still wanted a ring.
He was a bit burnt in the ring department (again, his story, not mine) so he felt the commitment to marriage was enough. My take was I needed to know I was worth a financial sacrifice.
We argue about it now. If anyone was in my situation, I would tell her not to marry him. He hasn't proved his love. A ring and proposal are necessary to let the woman know her value. Her worth.
A woman needs romancing. Wooing. Winning.
He says there is nothing wrong with how it was done. After all he had been through, the very fact he was talking marriage and committing to a life with me, displayed that he thought I had worth and value.
We'll
(or until his little girl grows up and some guy wants to marry her without a proposal and ring!)
I accepted this is how it fell into place. But I did communicate regularly that it still hurt there was no ring.
Two weeks before our wedding, my random, spontaneous guy took me to a place that had special meaning to me. A huge tract of land I had walked for years, spending countless hours with God, crying, laughing, writing, and praying.
He was acting so weird I thought a break-up was coming. I'd been down that road before. Twice.
I was bracing myself and shutting down emotionally. I was determined to take the break-up with dignity and without tears.
We talked about who knows what. It was weird. Awkward. So very wrong.
I just wanted him to get on with it.
So it didn't fully register when my eyes connected to my brain that he was down on the necessary one knee for an official proposal, ring box opened.
I wish I could remember what he said. You'd think I would after all the reminding I had done over the previous 5 months about how I should have a proposal and ring, but I don't recall one single word.
All I saw was the ring. One simple, marquis, sparkling diamond ring.
And him on one knee. Looking sheepish. Loving. Hopeful.
I said yes.
