Too slow-rising HcG levels. The threat of it being tubal. Then, a recommended D&C for a missed miscarriage since nothing showed in a tubal . . .
Oh, but wait. . . now there is a sac showing up. . . so let's put the D&C off. . .
Continue reading. . .
At that point, hope crept in. Precious, tenuous, yet strong hope. I felt her quickening heart that perhaps this baby would make it. She even began talking about some of her pregnancy cravings. Because there was a sac now. So it meant it was a real pregnancy. One to dream about.
Just as quickly as hope was quickened in her heart, it was shattered. There was the heart-stopping crimson, accompanied by the crampy pain.
We talked about the hope she had felt. Was it foolish?
I replied with the only thing that came to mind.
"It's a mother's heart and love. Our hearts will be broken because of our children in different ways but we can't help but hope and love anyways. It is True Love that shows the heart of the Father--Who wants us to learn that type of love even though it breaks us into a million pieces. You have reflected Him and His heart by loving this baby despite the unknown. Many would have rejected it by now and turned their hearts off in self-protection. I see Him in your broken love and hope."
I heard someone once say after she heard of someone going through a 4th miscarriage. "Well, that's just stupidity to even keep trying. Her heartbreak is her own fault. Obviously she's not meant to have a baby."
It was one of the most ignorant and cruelest things I have ever heard. And never have I disagreed so very hotly.
Stupidity? Hardly!
Courage, to try again? Yes.
Love like the Father? Yes!
Only a heart that knows how to truly love can keep trying and loving babies, despite losing them time and again.
Infertility and loss are not signs that someone is not meant to be a mother. Rather, to me, they are signs that one IS a mother. Because their heart is big enough to love and hope despite repeated heartbreaks. Not to mention, when people lose their babies, it doesn't mean they aren't parents.
They are parents. They are parents to children in heaven. And to be parents to a child that you are separated from until you reach eternity takes a strength and love that goes beyond this world. A love that can only be imparted to the heart by the Creator of Love Himself.
True Love. . .
