I left this blog half a year ago, to pursue building the review site, Mama Buzz. It was a site I started after we lost our son in a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and I am just now, beginning to see (literally, in the past few hours of this afternoon), that it was something I used to attempt to fill the void his absence left in my heart.
I have had a very difficult 72 hours. Many tears. Lots of soul searching. More tears.
It took "making it"(i.e. having Lee Jeans sponsor Mama Buzz to Oprah's Live your Best Life event in NYC) to realize that I had strayed from God's calling on my life and my true heart passion.
My heart passion is not writing reviews day after day nor is it networking with big companies and important people.
My heart passion is my family.
It is about relationships with children, teens, and women and helping them become the individuals God has intended for them to be.
My heart passion is about loving those who need love.
My heart passion is writing to women about the issues that affect their lives and encouraging them in their relationships with God and their families. It's writing things that will inspire teens and children to be a part of God's big story. It's putting words into black and white to urge parents to be all they can be, spouses to live the roles God has set up for them, and families to be a unit that impacts the world around them and brings glory to God.
And so, with a heart that has faced some heart break in the past 72 hours as I have let go of financial security and the opportunity for great success in the blog/review world -- a broken business partnership that affects a dear-to-me-friendship - - and eyes that are still red from many shed tears, I once again step on the path that allows me live out my ordained role in God's storyline.
What does that involve?
It means putting my family first, before my writing.
It means that when I write, I will write about things that make people want more of God and more of the life He wants them to have.
It means becoming my husband's business partner. Until now, his business has been his. I am now going to join him by becoming his business manager and secretary and his business will now be our family business. Something we build together. Today during a mid-day call to each other, when I said I was ready to make his business efforts my business efforts, he said it would be something he often longed I would do for him. I'm not longer pursuing my dream of making a review site a top-notch site. Instead, I am joining my husband in his dreams.
While I do, he will make room for my dreams. Because that's the kind of man he is. Wanting me to follow my own dreams while I help him build his. Instead of 4:30 - 6:30 a.m. and naptimes being for Mama Buzz, it will now be used to write the books I have always dreamed of writing. The books that God has given me a burning passion in my heart, to write about.
And yes, I will be writing on here again. But not for purpose of making this blog popular enough to be in top rankings and be able to make money from advertisers. Instead, it will be a place where I write the things God lays on my heart--from my relationship with Him, to being a wife and mom, to living an optimally healthy life with the right kind of nutrition.
But this time around, I'll be writing for Him. Not for money. Not for top blog ratings. For Him and for the people He brings by here.
This time, whatever I write is up to God to do with what He wants - not me.
What freedom to be once again, living out my true heart passion and the part that was ordained for me before time, in the eternal story line God has written.
Blessings,
Melissa
