* Take the Time - Someday You may No Longer Have It *

I already referenced it on Monday - my outing with miraclegirl. It was such a precious time that I'm still thinking about it and she's still talking about it. "We ate out Mama! I big girl. I 'ad ketchup an ries! We do again Mama?"

While we were sitting in that Wendy's on Saturday a scene played out in front of me. There I was with my 25 month old, hanging on to her every word, laughing at her cuteness, and discussing very intently things like the snow that was coming down (her first snow that she is aware of), that Daddy was "orking adain", that she was eating BBQ sauce and it was "picey", and about K and D being at home with their Mama (daycare kids).  I noticed people glancing our way with smiles on their faces. Not one for public attention it freaked me out a bit, but then, I supposed, people needed something to smile about and if my daughter was giving it to them, so be it.

Midway  through our lunch I noticed a mother come in with a girl who was obviously her daughter and son, and two additional young girls. The daughter and her friends were in their tweens. Not yet teenagers, yet no longer little girls.

The daughter picked out a table, leading her two friends and plopped down.


"Heather, we need to sit together."


"No Mooom! We don't! We're staying here!" She looked at her friends and rolled her eyes, who were more than willing to accommodate her and roll theirs as well.

With a shrug the mom walked away. My Mama's heart went out to her - attitude already and her girl probably hadn't even hit her 13th birthday yet. I reached over, rumpled miraclegirl's hair, and leaned down to kiss her on the head. "Please don't ever be a tween girl that acts snotty", I silently begged her.

Then, being the people-watcher that I am, I couldn't help but observe the scene further.

"At least she has her little boy with her", I thought with some relief. "One child still to sit and talk with her without attitude."  He was about 8 years old and the cutest little boy you've ever seen. They sat down, spread out their food, and then, Mama opened up a newspaper, holding it up in front of her face and bringing her burger behind it to her face periodically.


"Hey Mom!  Look at the snow! Isn't it pretty?"


"Uh huh"  No eye contact.


"Mom, look at the toy I got in my meal."

No response.


"Mom!"

No response

"Mom, look at my toy!"


"Darren, I'm reading!"

His face fell and for a few seconds I thought his eyes would fill with tears.

The didn't. Instead, after the hurt, anger came, deep and red, with a scowl that pulled his eyebrows down and his mouth down even further.  

He stared at the paper and looked for a minute as if he wanted to hit it with all his might, but then, his face closed off and he began eating his meal.

For the rest of my time in Wendy's, his mom read her paper, wrote things on her blackberry, and took phone calls with a friend in which she proceeded to complain about her day.

Her son played with his toy alone and watched the snow.

The daughter sat with her friends and gossiped about other girls that "just make me insane! Seriously, they need to like, die, or something!"

To be fair to the mom, perhaps it was an off day for her. We've all had them as moms. Days when the kids are just so out of control, we check out. It's easier to lose ourselves in a book or movie than it is to engage children with their attitudes. Maybe she was having work troubles. Maybe her husband had just left her. Maybe she had just received a devastating medical diagnosis. Maybe . . . .

I prayed for her that day and I prayed for her children.

And then, I prayed for myself. I prayed that I will grasp sweet opporunities with miraclegirl and I won't hide behind a magazine or cell phone or book. That I won't miss out on watching her face light up with wonder at snow coming down because I just have to get the laundry done before bed in order to satisfy my need for order. That I won't miss her excitement at a new toy because I'd rather complain to a friend about how miserable my life is.

Is it possible that making the most of my time with miraclegirl in her toddler years can hold off on the attitude tween/teen years? I hope so. I can't guarantee it but I know one thing, I'll do all I can to maximize my time with her now. Maybe then, she'll want to maximize her time with me later on.