* Take Courage *

For those following the series, Part 3 of Living the Maximized Life can be found below.

I've been involved in the Beth Moore Bible Study Esther this year. To be honest, it's been pretty slow for me until the past two lessons. Last week's was amazing but yesterday's really hit me hard.

It's been a topic on here before and probably, will be in the future - I struggle with fear.

Before my daughter was born, it was fear regarding me. What if I get hurt? What if someone hurts me? What if that dog bites me? What if I get trapped in a fire?

Then my daughter was in my arms and my fears turned from me to her. What if she gets hurt? What if someone hurts her? What if that dog bites her? What if she gets trapped in a fire? Honestly, the degree of fear I had before she came along was nothing, compared to the degree of fear I have now. It has been a fear, that I often write in my journal, is my torment. There is no other word for it. It torments me, steals my appetite, invades my dreams, and causes me to struggle to not be an over-protective mother.

I have often said, in my mind, and to others, "If such and such happened to Miracle-girl, I wouldn't be able to live anynore. And I certainly wouldn't be able to serve a God who allowed such terror to happen to her."

I can't even put my worst fear into written words. It hurts me too much. Just thinking it makes my heart race. To write it somehow makes if seem as if it could happen.

Beth addressed the whole thinking thing we do, that I just mentioned, "If this happens, then ____________."

I already mentioned my "then". I think I'd lose my faith. I'm not sure how I could love God after that.

What is your "then"?

Then . . . I'd go back to drinking.
Then . . . I'd leave my husband.
Then . . . I'd lose myself in eating.
Then . . . I'd never forgive.

The list is endless.

Know what Beth gave us?

"If this happens____________, then GOD."

God will still be sovereign.
God will see me through with a special grace for the situation.
God will still be worthy of my surrender.
God will bring beauty out of my pain, if not on earth, in the eternal realm.

Beth saying this in her video lesson wasn't a new concept to me. I've been walking this road for several years now. She just reminded me of what God has been trying to get my heart to grasp all this time.

Do I have it fully grasped? No. To think of my worst fear coming true, brings tears to my eyes. When our women's minster was talking about this after the video, and really brought it home to us moms, telling a story of how her daughter disappeared to a neighbor's house and her panicky certainity that she was dead somewhere, the tears came--they came because it hits me deeply. I hear that story and my emtions rise and respond to it. It's something I live with every day.

While I don't have this conquered, I do know that more and more I am catching a glimpse of the truth that

If _____________ happens, then God. . .