In the past three weeks, since moving "back home" I have met up with some old friends of mine.

Two women, in particular, stand out in my mind this morning as I re-think back through the conversations I have had during each of these visits.

These two women are moms. Moms who have had a mother's worst nightmare happen to them. Their stories are not mine to tell, so I won't. But I can assure you, they have lived through heart-breaking situations that make one's heart stand still and wonder how anyone can go on afterwards. The type of situation that when they woke up each morning, they probably at first thought, "Oh! What a nightmare that was!" And then, a second later it hit them, "That wasn't a nightmare! Oh dear God, it's real! How do I get through today? Please Lord, just take me home! I can't stand this pain!"

These are two women, two moms, who have every "right" in our human minds to be full of bitterness, hate, and unforgiveness.

Women, who in any conversation they may have, would insert all they've been through and be so latched on to IT, that they can't talk about regular life. Women, who's faces you would expect to be hard and set in a permanent frown.

Instead, when I meet up with these women, the first thing I notice is: 1. A love that has been deeply etched from pain, shining from their eyes. It pulls you into it's depths in a poignantly, beautiful way. 2. A peace that just radiates about them. The peace the Bible talks about, that "passes all [human] understanding."
Every time I meet up with them I feel as if I am on hallowed ground. That I am standing in front of a hero that is larger than life. As if I incredibly privileged that they allow me into their hearts and I wonder how I recieved that honor.

These women have chosen forgivness. When the rest of the world would have screamed out "revenge! hate! Unforgiveness! Blame God!" they have chosen instead, to rest in their Savior and forgiveness for those that harmed their children.

They smile and they laugh.

They talk about things other than what they have been through.

They not only show an interest in my life, they rejoice with me in my rejoicings and they sorrow with me in my sorrows.

It is not conversations and laughter without pain however. There is a pain that will always be a part of their hearts. They were forever changed by what happened. How could they not be? Like an old wound from an accident that has healed, but still aches on a regular basis, so too, their hearts.

Conversation flows smoothly with these women as we discuss childbirth, the economy, the state of our world, our health, our children and our husbands. While you talk, you sense no self-pity in their voices. Yet the tears will quickly come to their eyes as the situation in their lives is touched upon, whether lightly in passing or purposefully because they are reminded of something in the conversation. These are not tears of drama but tears of tender hearts that still feel the pain. And yet, through it all, the love and peace just emanate from their faces.

Beauty. That is what I see when I look into their eyes.

When I am with them, I feel as if I can sit back and relax because there is no pretense needed, nor is there the exhaustion of having to listen to never-ending bitter and angry words. Instead, a sad yet peaceful realness and transparency permeates our times together. Honesty and love.

They have chosen to trust in God though they can't understand why He didn't step in and end the horror. They will honestly tell you they don't understand "why?" and struggle in their prayer life sometimes, wondering if it will help, given what they, and their children, have lived through. But in the next breath they will tell you that without God they are lost. To be angry with Him and turn their back on Him will make the pain even greater and in the end, will totally destroy them. So they set their faces towards heaven and eternity, trusting that somehow, someway, in the eternal scheme of things, God will bring beauty out of tragedy and heart-rending pain.

While some will tell them, as Job's comforters did, to curse God and then curl up and die, they will tell you that isn't an option for them. They have caught a glimpse of that alternative and know it is far worse than than what they have already been through. These women refresh me.

They inspire me. I write with tears in my eyes as I think on them. I also write with a victorious shout in my heart at the shining testimony they are, both in the earthly realm and in the heavenly realm that we cannot see or comprehend, as they live forgiveness and love in spite of what they have been through.

These are women of God that make the enemy tremble! They have turned his attempts at destroyed lives into triumphant testiomonies of faith and love! We all need heroes in life. These women definitely have made the list in my life. Ultimately, I know they will tell me that it is only because of God that they live the way they do but the truth is, some people let God transform them into beauty like this and some people don't. I am grateful that these two have let Him have His way with them!