Diamonds in Silver

Sometimes, winter seeps into the soul. 

Cold and grey. 

Stark. 

Pulling all warmth from the core of our being. Leaving behind only feelings of deadness. 

The landscape of life is a frozen tundra, no sign of life. Life stands light years away, out of reach. We can only remember what was. The light of flowers and butterflies, beauty and love, in the starkness that winter now spreads across the field of our heart.

But then,

a closer glimpse reveals that grey is actually silver. Lightly shining in the midst of cold, frozen emotions that seem beyond thaw.

What is that?
Silver? Like the metal that is refined in the fire?

Could it be our lives are silver, not stark, barren grey?

 
A delicate glass that encases the fragility of all that we are.

The darkness of our failures, ensconsed in the white beauty of transparent silver. 

As silver so refined, it shines like glass.

Suddenly, the grey of winter takes on new beauty.  

Zero in on the delicate details and forget about the bleakness surrounding.

The grey dark shadows standing in the background?

There is new wonder to them. 

The silver compliments them. Adds value to what is seen. 

What would otherwise steal joy, has now been made beautiful by the silver glass surrounding and framing.

Oh what wonder!

An even closer glimpse reveals a plan more intricate and breathtaking than earthbound hearts can fully grasp.

Fullness of life, now empty and dry. 

Beauty formed on these in seasons past.

First the egg so small, the naked eye could barely discern.

Then bright, green caterpillars, eating the fullness, drinking of the milk.

 

Skin split open and shell formed, encasing the creature in half the size it was.

Hunched down, the painful process of wing transformation begun. 

Just under the pods, full of life, 

now devoid of everything. 

Perhaps that is our soul. 

Hunched in, closed in by the emerald that is Him, wings painfully forming. 

 

His touch is gentle. 

Feathery. 

 

And yet so gently pointed. 

 

Clinging to the hidden areas of the heart. 

Areas sometimes ugly, sometimes weak, 

 always loved, always cherished by Him. 

His cleansing is our covering.

The dull, lifeless browns of life can be transformed beautiful when He touches them.

A season past still retains beauty, simply because He, the Creator, has touched it with tiny, whispy symbols of His holiness.

Sharp and icy is His judgement. 

Beautiful and purposeful is His love.

Once again we must stop in wonder.
Deadness has turned to silver refined.

Can it be?

This theme continues to return, time and again. 

It can only be mercy. It can only be grace.

What else takes the winter of the soul and transforms it into breath-stealing awe?

A bruised reed He shall not break. . . 

To the human eye,

seeing without heaven's dimension,

it seems broken. 

But the promise remains. . .

 

My brokenness will be enveloped by His love. 

The bitter cold of life all around, and yet, beauty remains, 

clinging, refusing to let go. 

Displaying the Creator's continual, constant presence in this broken winter. 

Maker of the silver.

He knows each separate detail.
Who we are.
What makes us, us.

Not one dimension escapes His gaze, 

His covering, 

His love.

We are one of many and yet, when in His focus,
We are the only one. 

Such a tendency of weakness

yet hidden strength lies beneath the icy winter clinging. 

Look a bit further. It's there. 

 Under His covering. 

Because of His covering. 

His covering of silver girds the weakness into a strength that otherwise, the harsh winter winds of life would shatter into pieces.

 No, not shattered. 

Diamonds don't shatter. 

Silver is refined and diamonds are cut. 

Winter is not grey and bleak.

Winter is diamonds set in silver.

The soul, the diamond. 

The heart, the silver setting. 

His love, our covering.

  

Book Blurb | Healing is a Choice by Stephen Arterburn

Do you have an eating disorder?

Do you want to be healed?

Do you have unhealed wounds from your past?

Do you want to be healed?

Do you have anger issues?

Do you want to be healed?

Do you have an addiction?

Do you want to be healed?

This is the premise is Stephen Arterburn's book, Do You Want to be Healed?

As I found when in the counseling office, many people don't want to be healed. Oh, they say they want a better life, but when offered the tools, they don't take them. To do so would be to lose an identity they aren't quite ready to part with. But like the crippled man at the pool of Bethseda, Jesus stands there, asking, "Do you want to be healed?"

Healing is a choice, and it begins with a choice to surrender to God's way rather than our own. (page 39

Why Winter?

What a boring winter this is turning out to be.  While I am not at all a fan of cold, I do enjoy a good winter storm or two that traps us cozily inside, unable to go anywhere, and gives the perfect excuse to do nothing but watch movies and craft all day long.

We haven't had that. It's been a winter devoid of any mentionable snow fall.

"What's the point in a winter like this?"

Do I really need a snow storm to have an excuse to stop life for a day or two?

It seems that way. Because in my world, one must always be doing something productive. Cleaning the house, writing letters, making phone calls, touching people's lives, menu planning, learning something. . .

"I'd love to sit down and read this afternoon. Play with GIMP. Sew maybe. Do something fun, not work!"

These are my thoughts every morning.

Then, instead, every day finds myself not allowing any of the fun things that I enjoy, but instead the "oughts" and "shoulds" consuming my time.

I need a winter. Like the trees and the grass. Where I can lay dormant and not be so busy producing life. Rejuvenating for the next season. Resting before blooming forth again.

Dairy Free Cashew Alredo Sauce

Made this vegan cashew aflredo sauce off the top of my head today and was it fabulous!

Sweet, creamy, smooth, and silky. Who knew dairy free alfredo sauce could be so yummy?

Soak 2 cups of cashews for 2-3 hours
Drain water from cashews
 
Put in blender (or Vitamix if you're so blessed with one) with 
1 1/2 cups of plain coconut milk
1 clove of garlic (adjust for taste)
1/2 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp onion powder (adjust for taste)
1 1/2 tbsp of nutritional yeast (what gives it a cheesy taste)
salt and pepper

How to get Approx $25 in Amazon Gift Cards Monthly with Swagbucks

Here is a screen shot of some of the Amazon gift cards I've redeemed over the past year with Swagbucks

It goes back to April and it's $75. This is before I learned how to make a lot more Swagbucks than I was.

Swagbucks has much, much more to redeem than just Amazon cards, but as an avid reader and a Mama who uses Amazon constantly for kid's toys and books, the Amazon gift cards are what I redeem regularly. 

Around December I figured out a system that now averages me $25 in Amazon gift cards a month. A system that does not even include trade-ins, videos, playing  Swagbuck games, and  Swagbuck codes, which are other ways people add up.

Since I can't be on the internet constantly, I had to come up with a plan that worked for the time I do have to get on the internet. And this is what I came up with.

The Waiting Continues

Restlesly occupied.

This is how each day finds me.

We continue to wait for our revised blue prints to reach our hands. While we wait, Shiloh renovations remain on hold. And until they can be completed, our children cannot come home.

I fall asleep dreaming of them at night. Longing for them. Wondering where they are.

When I dress Miraclegirl and Bubbles each morning I feel as if someone is missing. As if I need to look around for another child. . . or three. . . or six. . . because surely, not everyone is dressed yet. The same goes for our meal times. "Really!? There are only four plates to put on the table? It seems there should be so many more. . . "

Waiting pulls the soul taut with frustration and impatience. There are pieces to our family puzzle that must come to us but they can't come until the perfectly ordained time passes.

How to Earn Regular Amazon Gift Cards with Surveys

Time is precious, budgets are tight, and I've finally found my streamlined system for making a few extra dollars here and there without it taking a ton of time from my family.

I once chased after every last survey opp out there but after several years I stick with the ones that I actually make money on. I usually redeem for Amazon gift cards but some are checks in the mail or Paypal payments. Here are the ones that I respond to every other day and by the time my birthday rolls around

(I cash in as my bday treat ;)

I usually have a good $200 to spend---usually spent on gifts for others but also something from my own wishlist as well.

Synovate, Global Opinions Panel. Take surveys. Earn points. Redeem for various prizes, Amazon included.  May also include product testing or year long projects which result in big points.

The Gospel Storybook

It is time for a FIRST Wild Card Tour book review! If you wish to join the FIRST blog alliance, just click the button. We are a group of reviewers who tour Christian books. A Wild Card post includes a brief bio of the author and a full chapter from each book toured. The reason it is called a FIRST Wild Card Tour is that you never know if the book will be fiction, non~fiction, for young, or for old...or for somewhere in between! Enjoy your free peek into the book!

Today's Wild Card author is:

Marty Machowski
Illustrated by:

A. E. Macha

and the book:

The Gospel Story Bible:

Discovering Jesus in the Old and New Testaments

New Growth Press (December 5, 2011)

MY TAKE: 

"Can a Bedtime Story Change a Life?"

This is the question on the back of The Gospel Story Bible and I answer it with a resounding, "Yes!"

When it's done the way Marty Machowski did it, it can definitely change a life.

You Say it Best, When You Say Nothin' at All

“Then God came to Laban the Arameamn in a dream at night and said to him, “Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, neither good or bad.” Genesis 31:24

Sometimes, the very best thing you can do is stay silent.

This is difficult for peace lovers, for we typically go one of two ways instead.

 Or at least I do.

One way I flow, is to say as many nice and positive and peaceful, and even loving, things as I know to say in a tense situation.

Unfortunately, this has been interpreted as:

Hypocritical

Manipulative

Blowing sunshine up you-know-where

Avoiding the issue at hand

Not being real and honest

Trying to look like I’m better than the person I’m wrestling with

Being sarcastic

This has left me frustrated and at my wit's end. While my intentions have been to forgive, love, and move on, it has been labeled as other weapons instead.

So then I’ll flow the opposite direction. I’ll get defensive. Explain myself. Attempt to validate why I said what I did and my heart behind it. This is then seen for what it is. . . defensive, argumentative, not able to let it go and move on.

Not the Way I Would Write the Story

It’s not how I would write the story. The way we’re living.

Baths in large tote bins. A sump pump to drain them.

Every. Time.

Gives new meaning to giving the kids baths. . . trying to drain a bin into the toilet with a sump pump while the baby grabs for the stream of water and cord simultaneously.

No stove, though the electric burner and toaster oven my in-laws is working pretty darn well. Amazing what seems like a luxury when you’ve gone without for a few weeks.

Halted renovations because of blue-print/code issues. Which results in living in this one large room with beds and dressers and toys.

One large room in which I am also drying clothes on drying racks because of lack of dryer.

(In other words, it’s crowded around here.)

A teething baby boy who won’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time, causing me to border on a nervous breakdown.

A 4 year old that is testing, testing, testing.

(Did God miss the “I’m not sleeping!!” part?)

What Do I Do?

I'm a little bit in awe at the feedback from my post this past week about 23 days without internet. It seems that the internet has become an issue for many of us.

From

"I know it's taking valuable time from my children. . . "

to

"I get too emotionally caught up in online drama. . . "

to,

"There is so much more I could be doing with my life. . . "

the consensus is the same. Too much internet exists in our lives and we want to break free. 

So "How!?" is the question I've been asked. Especially when one does need it for communication, bill paying, and blogging for either family to stay in touch or for ministry.